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Friday, July 27, 2012

Finding the Peace in Tragedy


While this is not the normal type of post I would write, I felt like it was a story that needed to be told.  Let's say I'm marketing peace.  :) I had a friend lose their cousin and I messaged her to give my condolences.  We began to talk about death and the peace that you need to get through it, over it, or around it, whichever works for you.  When we finished, I told her I consider myself and expert on death, laughing but very serious, and that is what inspired this post.

At the tender age of 13 I lost my mother and just 4 almost 5 months ago today I lost my dad.  I felt like I needed to share my story because many people are fearful of death and don't think it's something they can ever overcome.  But that's not true, I stand here today a survivor of losing both parents and doing pretty well.  I want people out there to know that you can survive anything if you put God first.  This tragic part of my life has let me know that if I can overcome losing both my parents, I can overcome ANYTHING!!!!  I want my story to serve to people out there as a sense of hope, that whatever happens in your life, if you keep God first you can make it through.

Grieving my mother's death was much different than my dad's, but it is only at that place where you find peace in the small things surrounding death that you can grow and find peace in the bigger picture.  When my mom passed I was a child, she had Cancer and I knew she was in pain.  So when I was able to get pass my pain and recognize that she really was gone, I took peace in the pain she would never experience again.  She would never go through chemotherapy again, she would lose not another strand of hair, no more medicine to take, but she would be in true peace and that's what carried me through.  My dad's death was a little different.  I was sheltered from most of my mom's process, but with my dad I was there every step of the way.  Until the dying day I played an active role in his health.  Peace was and still is harder to find in this situation, it's still very fresh so that comes with the territory.  Some of the things he went through in life and in this process were very painful to his heart, literally and medically.  I take peace in knowing that he has no more pain, he won't be manipulated again, his kindness will be truly appreciated and that his heart will be in the most peace it's ever been.  Combining these two, the biggest peace is knowing that my parents will be together again.  While they have separated from me, they are together again and that makes my heart smile.

I know this was a little long, but I hope that by reading this, you learn to find peace in the most tragic of situations and embrace all the joy that is around you.  But know and understand it is a process, so with time you will become stronger.

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing because I never know what to say to someone who has lost a love one such as a Mother or Father. I will always be a listening ear and speak on what I have heard from others as far as encouraging to help. But I have friend in you and now know where I can go to talk to someone who would understand when that time come for myself!! Love you friend & sister in Christ Marsha

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  2. Awh that was soooo nice....Tonisha...you are and will be a testimony for someone who will need to know how they can get through...continue to speak dear..your gonna be just fine!

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